Between 2013 and 2014 I started noticing a pea size lump on the upper part of my right breast. At first, I thought nothing much of it as it kept disappearing when I thought of seeking advice from other people. Besides it was not bothering me as there was no pain, therefore making it easy to forget about it. Then round about June of 2014 the lump appeared more regularly, this time slightly bigger but still small; still no pain coming from it.

It was only late July that I noticed that the lump had grown significantly but still not an alarming size; this time appearing more regularly.

Not being a good friend of the doctors, I kept postponing going for medical checkup. Each day had its own excuse, either too busy or just not in the mood to be sitting at the hospital/doctor’s waiting rooms; besides it was not painful.

Mid-August I attended a family occasion, this time the lump was not shy to being felt. This was the opportune time that I approached my brother, being a doctor, grabbing his hand to feel it. His response was that we would talk later. A week later, already forgotten about the incidence, he informed me that he had arranged various medical appointments. At first, I did not understand what the big fuss was about as I was feeling perfectly fine.

My diagnosis came at the most inopportune time, what with being unemployed and trying to start my own business. How was I going to afford medical bills and everything that came with it? Without the family support both emotionally and financially I might have had to join the waiting list in the government hospitals waiting for surgery or treatment.

In a period of two weeks I went for mammogram, biopsy and eventually surgery. I thank my siblings for coming together to make things happen within a short space of time. My brother took over arranging all the appointments as well as making decisions  from the time I was diagnosed as my mind refused to function.

Discovery of the lump, diagnosis and having surgery had not prepared me for the difficulty yet to come. During chemo treatment there were days when I did not think I’d make it to the next, as the treatment would make my body so weak to the point I was prepared just to stop living. After each treatment I would be so weak and by the second day too tired to do anything. Even holding conversations was a burden, however, I would equally be hurt when family did not check on me every once in a while. I’d be relieved every time I fell asleep to feel some human presence in the room. Although I tried to convince myself that I was ready to die,
I was still anxious on how this would affect the family.

Through the many conversations I had with myself and God, I am immensely grateful for the support and love received and encouragement to fight on. Had I not received the support from everyone around me, making sure that I ate even when I did not want to as the nausea was a constant thing, I might not have made it. So glad that I now have a second chance in life.

Self-esteem is a constant struggle as my femininity has been tampered with.
My greatest wish is to be able to raise enough capital for an implant.

What with the lack of employment caused by the Covid-19 and savings being redirected. Someday I hope to have that operation. For now, what gives me joy is motivating and giving support to those that have just been diagnosed or going through treatment. Even though I may not know them personally,

I feel some sort of connection with them. A second chance in life is possible and learning to appreciate oneself is the greatest gift no matter the odds. Although it began with living for each day, I’m now able to plan for the future like any other person. Currently I am cancer free and…..

”…I’m glad ,to be alive………So glad, to be alive….”.